The Waste of Duplicity in the Linguistics of Neoteric Civilization

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The Waste of Duplicity in the Linguistics of Neoteric Civilization
Part I

Duplicity, by definition, is the classification of everything into categories of good and bad. Even shit must fit in a category, so therefore there is good shit and bad shit. Shit seems pretty much the same to me, but for scientific purposes I will attempt to classify the differences within the contents of this essay.

Everyone must "take a shit at some time," but I think that is classified incorrectly. You aren't really "taking a shit," you are "giving a shit," because if you hold on to the shit, you would be very uncomfortable and up shit creek, and that would be some bad shit. So I would put "keeping the shit," into the bad shit category.

However, some people really want to "keep their shit," because they think they have good shit. Obviously, they think that their shit is better than everyone else's shit, like maybe their shit doesn't smell. They think their shit is so good in fact, they even copyright their shit, so that no one else can steal their shit. Or else they lock up their shit, and protect their shit. So I guess "protecting your shit" would put it in the good shit category.

If you are "protecting your shit," then you obviously don't "give a shit," and you don't want people "taking your shit." But most people don't give a shit about taking your shit, so I don't understand what is so good about "protecting your shit". Who wants it?

Some people are shit authorities, and they know bad shit when they see it. They say, that's some really bad shit. But you can't be sure if that is in the good or bad category, because some bad shit is really good, and some bad shit is really bad. I guess if they say that's "some bitchin' shit," then you know for sure that it's good. But if they just say, that's "some really bad shit," you're never quite sure. You might have to ask for a clearer definition.

If they say, "don't give me no shit," that is a shitty definition, because you don't have any idea how "not to give no." I can't really classify that, but it sounds like it could be some bad shit. Bad in the sense of not being good shit, however not in the sense of being bitchin' shit, which of course is actually very good shit.

If they say, that's "some real shit," I think that means it's bad shit. But of course, since bad could also mean very good, it can be confusing. Real shit, however, does sound like it could be bad, compared to unreal shit, which must be like that plastic shit you can buy for practical shit jokes. Therefore, "unreal shit" must be good in comparison, unless you're having the joke played on you. Then you might not think it is too good.

I don't think there is an exact classification for good shit and bad shit. I don't even think there is an exact classification for good and bad, it's just a bunch of shit.