Thanks fucking giving

Hi Mr. Blog.

You don’t mind if I pull up a chair and perhaps we could have a little chat? I’m really feeling depressed, and was needing to get some things off my pink chest.

Oh no, that’s fine I’ll just sit over here on the cyber sofa, next to the cyber reading lamp, that I might have to turn on so I can see what I’m saying.

What’s wrong?

Well, it’s almost Thanks fucking giving, that’s what’s wrong. And you know how any time you name something Thanksgiving, that’s enough to piss you off straight away, and make you want to kick the shit out of something. Like in don’t tell me what to do.

No, not you personally. You what I’m saying. I figure that you’re wide enough not to take this seriously, and start crying some cyber tears, and then I’ll have to say I’m sorry, even though I’m not in the least. You’re not going to get all defensive on me are you?

I didn’t think so.

You don’t have to talk, just listen.

You see I spent all summer learning how to read energy, and now I don’t know if I like it that much, but it’s too late. Like I can’t go backwards. And besides…

I hear the train a comin'; it's rollin' 'round the bend,
And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when.
I'm stuck at Folsom Prison and time keeps draggin' on…
But that train keeps rollin' on down to San Antone.

What train? The disaster train of course. Toot, toot.

Let that lonesome whistle blow my blues away.

What brought that on?

I suppose it’s the holidays. Like last year when I heard about the big wave the day after Xmas, I said of course, that makes sense.. The day after Xmas is the saddest day of the year, and always makes me feel like a street cleaner after the ticker tape parade. All that high expectation turns into some sort of rubbish of wrinkled paper and broken ribbons, and lights that lost their twinkle of expectation. The gift is just so much better before you open it, and so disappointing after.

And of course the second saddest day of the year is the day after Thanks fucking giving, that is only masked by the shopping anticipation for Xmas. Lord knows what we would do if when the going got tough and we couldn’t go shopping. Life is just so full of making plans for tomorrow, and ignoring right now.

Even Thanksgiving itself, where you spend all day fixing a meal, that you eat in 20 minutes, and then are almost too tired to make it to the couch to watch violence on television.

Yes, I know that eating turkey does not make me tired. But the belief that eating turkey makes me tired, just wears me out.

And that has been proven absolutely, by scientists who looked through a microscope of observation, and saw turkey meat consciousness particles waving and rubbing its little eyes, and looking for a soft blanket. So that right there is proof enough to be a paragraph in some scientific text book, or a headline on Yahoo.

But I think that only applies to white turkey meat consciousness, cause if I remember, dark turkey meat consciousness went outside and played a banjo.

And it only applies to domesticated turkey meat, too stupid to remember that all turkeys are free range, cause they can fly.

Now don’t get me to talkin’ about expensive free range turkeys, cause that will make me laugh.

Stop it Mr. Blog.

I feel a giggle coming on. It’ll ruin my drama.

Is there anything good on TV?