Dental Hell

It's easy to guess why churches are located in the State of Guilt, but you might be wondering why dentist's offices are also located there. It is because dentist's offices operate on the same principle.

First of all you have to make regularly scheduled appearances or else you will be going straight to dental hell. They even send you birthday cards and newsletters, which are gentle reminders that you have not been paying enough attention to dental Jewish mom, who is very lonely because you have not visited in quite a while.

Everyone who works at the dentist's office is a perfect example of dental perfect by being dental friendly, and having very straight and white teeth. Just a smile is a reminder of your own sinful teeth.

Then you must confess that you have not been brushing and flossing after every single meal. This confession is good for the soul, and the dentist will forgive you this time by giving you a rosary consisting of a toothbrush and a miniature tube of toothpaste, to remind you to say your dental prayers every morning and evening.

Part of the mass, which the revered dentist priest is always dressed for, is to numb you, and then force you to think about how you have been sinning by having you stare at the ceiling for a considerable length of time, and anticipating discomfort. The purpose of the dentist priest is to save the soul of every single tooth, and this is grinding work.

You can receive temporary dental absolution by scheduling regular cleaning appointments with the dental hygienist nun. She also reminds you that you are a sinner because she wears a mask and gloves to protect herself from your offensive mouth.

Going to the dentist's office is never pleasant, even though they try to compensate with dental music, the Reader's Digest bible, and acting like you are their best dental friend.

And you must comply or else you are on the direct path to dental hell, where the only meals served are mashed vegetables and oatmeal.